Tuesday, January 26, 2010
So I was thinking about the things I love, and where I want to go exactly.
God has placed such a great purpose on those who strive to be like Him, to share His immense love with others, the love that we cannot even BEGIN to comprehend. Ah, how great is He!
Anyways, it made me wonder about some things I would like to do, sometime in my life.
Here's what I came up with...
- Sell a painting, that I've painted.
- Move to Seattle (almost there)
- Learn to play guitar...(well)
- Go to Paris or Italy
- Learn how to drive manual! (so I can feel like a race car driver)
- Road trip across at least two states with Abigail.
- Walk on the streets of New York
- Mission trip to Africa- my heart's been set on there for forever it seems
Last but not least
- Discover who, and where God wants me to be. This life is so useless without Him. What are we if we are not operating in His love?
I'm sure I'll come up with some more as I venture on this unknown journey called life. But with the best guide possible.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Bruised and Broken.
Ripped and torn.
Pierced and Shattered.
how wretched and wronged.
where is this new found comfort that I cannot seem to see through this fog?
where are you. Around the corner?
please tell me.
I see glimpses of it sometimes. like a flowing scarf in the wind.
like the shine of the sun that fancies folding his hands behind the clouds.
I fall. I hurt. Pain, you are as close as my skin. We become one through the lessons of unknown.
Oh ye of little faith.
Bitterness, you cut. Sharp to the touch. Such an awful taste resonates on my tongue.
my heart throbs from this unnecessary torture.
I have no need of you.
so then why are you still here?
It's because I'm still grasping the wrong end of the blade isn't it...?
I can't do this alone.
Release in His arms, healing envelops the wound.
It Seeps in.
undone in my sin. undone in my will.
Breathe? I can't seem to find the capacity of the in and out movement.
Restoration is the sturdy arm I grab hold of.
Love is the sadness. Love is the madness. Love you are the core.
How key are you.
Love is the beginning. and You are the end.
Grace you pair off with her, intertwined in a never ending twirl of ecstasy.
Dance within my being, for this certain suffering has been my companion for far too long.
Mercy, she is here in the midst of this calm rain as well.
Oh how truly lovely you are.
Smile. Wide. He beams over me.
Music retreats into my bones.
Wrapping tightly around, with notes of peace placed softly in harmonized key.
we meet yet again.
I know we'll become quite close over time.
Even as close as Pain and I feel right now.
It won't be long before the loss of my words are just enough to satisfy His craving of my heart.
For it is yours.
It always has been.
and it always will be.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Stepping into a new year. A new era of things. I don't especially look forward to New Years. I mean, it's fun and all, but it always forces me to think of what I'm going to do in the next year. Where I'm going to go. Who I'm going to meet. What opportunities will be placed before me, and what decisions I will make. Which course to follow, which path to embark on. So many questions. So short notice. Seconds add up to minutes which add up to knots in my throbbing head.
My throat becomes dry as I breathe, gasp for some hydration to release this stress of the future. Maybe I'm getting a little ahead of myself here...or am I? Yes, yes I am.
I think the most shocking aspect of things to come, is the unknown of what they will be.
Being uncertain is always tricky. On the other hand, refreshing. Fear tied with surprise.
Scary excitement. Shockingly wonderful. Oh Lord I pray. A new year also makes me feel like I must let go of the past, or something related to that. Move on.
But what if I don't want to future?
What if I want you both? Can't I please hold both of your hands?
Past, you're warm and fresh to my memory. Future, you're cold to the touch, but also very refreshing.
Wishes flood my brain nerves. Lord, I know you want to fulfill the desires of my heart, but how come I can't see it right now? I know. All in good time, all in good time. I won't push things upon you. I refuse to demand selfish childish commands that are ridiculous at great heights. You extend your love to me that never seems to end. It wraps, envelops over me like a cold winter fog, how can I be so selfish when you are so selfless? Thank you again. I thank you. SO.
I step. I jump. Heck, I leap. Into unknown waters, and unheard of boundaries. Grasping the only reality I know, that keeps me moving, and continues to guide my awkward limp feet.