Always Serendipity.: Two. Thousand. Ten.

Stepping into a new year. A new era of things. I don't especially look forward to New Years. I mean, it's fun and all, but it always forces me to think of what I'm going to do in the next year. Where I'm going to go. Who I'm going to meet. What opportunities will be placed before me, and what decisions I will make. Which course to follow, which path to embark on. So many questions. So short notice. Seconds add up to minutes which add up to knots in my throbbing head.

My throat becomes dry as I breathe, gasp for some hydration to release this stress of the future. Maybe I'm getting a little ahead of myself here...or am I? Yes, yes I am.

I think the most shocking aspect of things to come, is the unknown of what they will be.

Being uncertain is always tricky. On the other hand, refreshing. Fear tied with surprise.

Scary excitement. Shockingly wonderful. Oh Lord I pray. A new year also makes me feel like I must let go of the past, or something related to that. Move on.

But what if I don't want to future?

What if I want you both? Can't I please hold both of your hands?

Past, you're warm and fresh to my memory. Future, you're cold to the touch, but also very refreshing.

Wishes flood my brain nerves. Lord, I know you want to fulfill the desires of my heart, but how come I can't see it right now? I know. All in good time, all in good time. I won't push things upon you. I refuse to demand selfish childish commands that are ridiculous at great heights. You extend your love to me that never seems to end. It wraps, envelops over me like a cold winter fog, how can I be so selfish when you are so selfless? Thank you again. I thank you. SO.

I step. I jump. Heck, I leap. Into unknown waters, and unheard of boundaries. Grasping the only reality I know, that keeps me moving, and continues to guide my awkward limp feet.