Vinegar.

Sigh.
This is the most treacherous season. Of my life I feel like.
It's like...the wound was starting to heal, slowly but surely, but then all of a sudden someone decided to throw a douse of vinegar on it, along with some nail polish remover. Then, they spit on it to top it off.
I know this probably doesn't make any sense to you...but, I'll just say that I was hurt. And I practically did it to myself.
And I've tried to fix things...so many times. Too many times in fact. Did you know doing that can make things worse?
I'm a "peacemaker". I can't help but want people to have peace and have things resolved. So when I create a problem,
all I want is that problem to be erased, and have that person forgive me, or at least try and let go of the bitterness.
But that's not always possible. Or even tangible.
THis time, it feels as if it's behind the moon in terms of "being accessible".
I keep telling myself, "God is here. He's in control. He'll work things out for good."
And quite honestly, I can't see that. Any of it right now...
I hate this situation, everything about it.
I hate that it's taken this long to recover from, (which its not yet) and I hate that I can't see any good from it.
People tell me, time heals, time heals.
I just wish time would come sooner, and faster. More like antibiotics and a bandaid instead of tiny swabs of a cotton ball that stings.
God is all I need. He is my all and all. He is my reason for life. His love is sufficient, and He cares for my pain.
OKay. I'm done venting now.
just need to write it out sometimes.

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love."

“God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world”

“Though our feelings come and go, God’s love for us does not"

-C.S. Lewis

Sweet Love

"The journey starts, I'm back again
Climbing through this mess I'm in
While willow trees they shift beneath
the outcome of my unbelief

I stop again take a breath
I think of all my past, my past regret
A smile breaks and finds her place,
In this valley I see Your grace.

Sweet, sweet love
You're my sweet, sweet love
Sweet, sweet love
You're my sweet, sweet love.

Like honey comb that's on my lips
I taste a love that's heaven-sent
A love that's pure, a love that's free
The only love I really need."

Sweet Love-Esterlyn.

I love this song. It's old, but I hadn't heard it in forever when it played on my shuffle mix, and it's soo wonderful.
Reminds me of How sweet and precious God's love and grace is, and at the end of the day, it's the only love I need to fulfill me.

FEBRUARY february Feeebruary!
My month of birth. The month of heart candies and valentines. The month where winter is on the verge of turning to sunshine and spring...but then decides to stay a little longer and throws its last punches of the biting cold.
I usually love the cold, scarves, layers, boots.. but I'm kind of getting sick of it right about now...
I want sunshine to smile down upon me!

I feel like alot of things are coming up, but I'm oblivious to any of them, or all of them. Dances, Birthday...(I have absolutely NO idea as to what to do for turning the big ONE EIGHT of my life.)...preparing for weddings, application, ordering things before the end of the month, planning spring break, signing up for random events...and the list goes on.
But I think that just comes along with the title of "being a senior"
and getting organized and things out of the way as graduation creeps up on us.
By the end of today, I want to feel productive by at least getting ONE of these things checked off.
I ordered my beautiful brides maid dress yesterday and tried it on!
LOVE IT. silky, strapless, tangerine, and best of all, it has pockets.
Personally, I think every single dress should have pockets. Best invention of our time.

and today. SUPER BOWL.
it's where everyone gathers in their living rooms and gorge themselves with popcorn out of a GINORMOUS glass bowl.
haha. not. but Colts against the Saints. I have no idea as to who I'm rooting for, so Jennae and I said
"whichever colors look better" haha
blue and white....or black and gold?
I love black and gold...
but then again, I'm always for the underdog.
we shall see.

Cling to His Promises

Cling to them like the hem of his robe.
Like it is the only source of hope of life for you.

I sometimes get so caught up in the now, and impatience begins to stir within me. Doubt seems to be more attractive then waiting for God's promises. I see through the tiny peep hole God has set before my eyes to view His overwhelming confusing collage of a mystery. Waiting. Not seeing the benefits. Only pain and no new gardens to bloom around my hurting heart.
But oh how wrong I am in this tiny disposition of God's big plan!
Jeremiah 33-
The Lord who made the earth, who formed and established it, whose name is the Lord: Ask me and I will tell you remarkable secrets you do not know about things to come.
The people of the world will see all the good I do for my people, and they will tremble with awe at the peace and prosperity I provide for them. You have said "This is a desolate land where people and animals have disappeared."
Yet in the empty streets of Jerusalem and Judah's other towns, there will be heard once more the sound of joy and laughter. The joyful voices of bridegrooms and brides will be heard again, along with the joyous songs of people bringing thanksgiving offerings to the Lord. They will sing,
"Give thanks to the Lord of Heaven's Armies,
for the Lord is good.
His faithful love endures forever!"
For I will restore the prosperity of this land to what it was in the past, says the Lord.

This is what the Lord says: "If you can break my covenant with the day and the night so that one does not follow the other, only then will my covenant with my servant David be broken."

So if I can try and stop the night from greeting the end of the day, or stop the dawn from rising after night, THEN God's covenant would be broken. But it's impossible to be done!
It's like trying to hold back the sun from rising to it's ordained place.
That is how true and faithful God's promises are. And how He Loves to keep them, and bless those whose confidence is found in Him. Faith is the decided obedience in the things unseen.
Though it may feel the blue has left my skies, God is there to restore them with His beauty from the ashes kiss upon my heart.

Unwashed and Dirty.

So when was the last time Krista washed her hair...?
just take a guess. Or two....

3 days ago?......guess again. 4? 5? 6?.... No. Not SEVEN Krista... Seriously?!

Darn Right I'm serious. Last Saturday was the last day I washed my hair.
I am being completely honest when I say I have magical hair. My dad prayed for a redheaded girl, and here I am!
I can go a week without washing my hair, and it still looks great. Well, I think so. Baby powder and hairspray become your closest friends in this process.
I will probably end up washing it tonight...or maybe see how long I can actually go..
I think I would do great in Africa, going days without a shower, and not caring about my hair.
Disgusting? Only if you think my hair looks it.
Its a great feeling though.
Waking up and doing nothing to it. Letting my wild red mane be free in all of its craziness.

You should try it sometime
=)

Three words-John Mark McMillan.